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Love Handles Save my Life – ATLANTIC CITY, NEW JERSEY – Have you ever heard about those gentile ladies and gentlemen people who through prayer and divine intervention end up avoiding lifes split-second misfortunes? Or, if you’re not the holy rolling type, do you know lucky sonsabitch who got lucked out for once in their miserable lifes and missed certain death or disfigurement? Like that weird guy upstairs who got loaded and fell 7 floors from the fire escape and landed safely on an awning, instead of getting splattered all over the concrete. Or that psycho mafia hit man from your anger management class who had a guy shoot him point blank while on a collection visit, but the brass knuckles in his Cerucci suit deflected 3 bullets and instead of dying got a small fine and probration for racketeering. Not too impressed? What about this fat broad who used love handles to save her life?
A Florida woman said her love handles saved her life when she was shot 4 times outside of an Atlantic City strip club and she didn’t even flinch. Apparently all was good in the hood until she heard several loud snaps and saw people running like mad out of Big Herm’s Place early this morning. Once the commotion died down she felt a sudden apain in her side and saw blood dripping on the ground. Witnesses at the scene say two men were shooting at each other inside of the club when two of the bullets ricocheted off the ground and struck the women in her side. (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100223/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_love_handles_shooting)
During an interview outside of the emergency, the woman proudly told reporters, ‘I could have been killed by some fool who started a gun fight up in Herm’s over some goddamn shrimp.” After giving a few shout outs she added, “My love handles saved my life and I didn’t even have to shoot back. And to think I wanted to get on Jenny Craig and lose weight. Now want to be as big as hell, if it’s going to stop a stray bullet.” The suspect is still at large but the woman said she knows who is is and that she’ll be pulling out her hammer if she sees him on the block any time soon.
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